I have written in the past of gay men who opposed same-sex marriage (for various reasons). While it’s old news at this point, I ran across a couple of more recently. Rupert Everett, a gay British actor, told The Sunday Times magazine he opposed same-sex marriage (and all marriage for that matter) and same-sex parenting because children need mothers and fathers.
At about the same time, Doug Mainwaring, also a gay man, published an opinion article in The Washington Post:
I am certain that the vast majority are others who, like me, simply view “marriage” as an immutable term that can only apply to heterosexuals. It’s undeniable that, from age to age, marriage has been humanity’s greatest success and source of prosperity, crossing all cultures and religions. We shouldn’t mess with it.
Full disclosure: I am gay. A few years ago, I was on the other side of the fence on this topic. But the more I read, thought, investigated and attempted to defend my position, the more I realized that I couldn’t. I feel very strongly that gay relationships should be supported by society. I have grown convinced, however, that the term “marriage” should not be altered or adjusted in any way.
Let’s face it: We should not attempt to force into an old construct something that was never meant for same-sex partnerships. We should welcome the opportunity to christen a new tradition, beginning a new chapter in the history of gays and lesbians within American society. Same-sex relationships are different from heterosexual relationships, and gay men and lesbians need to accept that and design their own tradition.
In France, homosexual and atheist Xavier Bongibault opposes same-sex marriage, saying: “In France, marriage is not designed to protect the love between two people. French marriage is specifically designed to provide children with families.” Another gay man, Jean Marc, said “The LGBT movement that speaks out in the media . . . They don’t speak for me. As a society we should not be encouraging this. It’s not biologically natural.” Jean-Dominique Bunel, a man raised by two lesbians, also opposes same-sex marriage. In his words, he “suffered from the lack of a father, a daily presence, a character and a properly masculine example, some counterweight to the relationship of my mother to her lover. I was aware of it at a very early age. I lived that absence of a father, experienced it, as an amputation. … As soon as I learned that the government was going to officialize marriage between two people of the same sex, I was thrown into disarray” because it would be “institutionalizing a situation that had scarred me considerably. In that there is an injustice that I can in no way allow.”
While this only represents a handful of gay men who have publicly opposed same-sex marriage, their voice is important to hear. Clearly, when even gay people oppose same-sex marriage, opposition to same-sex marriage cannot be attributed to animus against gays.